Reforming Trauma Coaching & Counselling.

Instagram:@reformingtrauma

First 60 minute coaching or counselling session is 100% FREE.

1 x 60 minute coaching or counselling session = $35 AUD.

Australian and International clients.

Audio and video sessions via Facebook Messenger, FaceTime, Instagram, WhatsApp, Wechat, Viber, Skype, Webex, Microsoft Teams, Google Meet & Zoom.

Ph: +61 400 546 129

What is trauma?


What is trauma?
Trauma can occur at any stage in life. Trauma often causes significant and noticeable shifts in ones moods, thoughts, behaviours and social, familial and occupational functioning. Trauma, if left untreated, can lead to the formation of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, alcohol and other substance addiction/misuse along with many other mood, thought and behavioural conditions/disorders. Trauma most often occurs as a result of the following events/situations;

Sexual abuse,
Physical abuse,
Emotional/psychological abuse,
Verbal abuse,
Domestic violence,
Narcissistic and psychopathic abuse,
Severe neglect and abandonment,
Divorce,
Death or loss of a loved one,
Adversity,
Personal injury,
Voluntary or forced migration (refugees),
Exposure to war, political persecution, government oppression/violence,
Poverty,
Natural disasters,
Workplace bullying and toxic workplaces,
vicarious trauma,
Shared psychosis.

My approach and treatment options.


My approach and treatment options.
I utilise a recovery oriented framework whereby I actively seek my clients thoughts, feelings and ideas about any treatment approaches they decide to participate in. Rather than specializing in one trauma treatment approach (i.e., CBT), I incorporate techniques and knowledge from a wide variety of fields. I work with individuals, couples, families and children. I help Australian and International clients in the following areas;

Trauma specific coaching or counselling,

Couples and relationship coaching or counselling,

Family coaching or counselling,

Depression, stress and anxiety coaching or counselling,

Emotional regulation coaching or counselling,

Occupational/career coaching or counselling,

Grief/death coaching or counselling,

Addiction recovery coaching or counselling,

Adolescent coaching or counselling,

Pre-teen coaching or counselling.

What qualifications and experience do I have?


What qualifications and experience do I have?
Not only have I REFORMED my own trauma and overcome addictions to alcohol, tobacco, gambling and drug use.

I have a Bachelors degree in Psychological Science from the Australian College of Applied Psychology (GPA 6.11).

I am employed part-time as a Residential Youth Worker with the Churches of Christ Queensland.

I am a certified life coach (x2), certified counselling practitioner, certified trauma professional, certified family trauma professional, certified in trauma treatment for children, certified in trauma and complex PTSD, certified Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) practitioner, certified Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) practitioner, certified hypnotherapy practitioner, certified NLP practitioner (x2), certified Master NLP practitioner, certified mindfulness practitioner and certified in sex trafficking and sex industry exploitation.

I am further certified in counselling skills, psychopathology, PTSD, and Jungian inner child healing.

I have successfully completed;

*Substance abuse and mental health interventions advanced dual diagnosis training.
*16 hours of CBT4PANIC online course.
*Trauma Basics for Youth Workers online course.
*Alternatives to Violence Project QLD (AVPQ) basic, advanced and training for facilitator (T4F) workshops in nonviolent conflict transformation.
*Hope and Healing - PeakCare - online course.
*Understanding and working with Autistic clients in therapy online course.
*Therapeutic Crisis Intervention (TCI) on-site training.
*Recognise and respond appropriately to domestic and family violence.
*Sanctuary model - Trauma responsive training model.

I am certified in CPR, AED and First Aid.

I have a valid National Police Check Certificate and valid working with children Blue Card.

Extra Information


Australian residents

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International residents

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Articles


Do you ever wonder if you are manipulative?
3 min read

Do you ever wonder if you are manipulative?

These questions are designed to encourage thought and insight into how you go about getting your needs met.

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Do you want to stop your ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) from crawling around inside your mind?
4 min read

Do you want to stop your ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) from crawling around inside your mind?

Automatic negative thoughts become more powerful the more that they are reinforced.

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A look at PTSD and different treatment options.
3 min read

A look at PTSD and different treatment options.

The vast majority of us would have seen and heard about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in some form or another.

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What is the relationship between object constancy and healthy love?
4 min read

What is the relationship between object constancy and healthy love?

Object constancy allows you to have healthy whole relations with people.

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Empath: Fact or fiction?
4 min read

Empath: Fact or fiction?

The term ‘empath’ derives from the term empathy and so relates to a person who is especially aware of the emotions that surround them.

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Understanding object relations theory.
2 min read

Understanding object relations theory.

Since we are social creatures the human brain can never develop properly in isolation.

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Why is sleep necessary for good mental health?
4 min read

Why is sleep necessary for good mental health?

Do you constantly feel like the walking dead going day in and day out with little to no sleep?

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Are you a good friend?
3 min read

Are you a good friend?

Knowing if you are a good friend or not will allow you to appraise your friendships honestly.

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Articles


Why is it important to regularly update our internal objects?
3 min read

Why is it important to regularly update our internal objects?

Internal objects refer to our internal representations of external objects.

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A look at the do’s and don’ts of trauma recovery.
4 min read

A look at the do’s and don’ts of trauma recovery.

Here are some do’s and don’ts of coping with trauma.

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Can mental health support groups cause more harm than good?
3 min read

Can mental health support groups cause more harm than good?

Abuse and trauma related support groups which are monitored and supervised properly can provide immense mental health value.

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Understanding depression.
3 min read

Understanding depression.

There are a variety of different symptoms related to depression.

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Does stress drive you NUTS?
4 min read

Does stress drive you NUTS?

Stress is a common life experience which we can never truly escape.

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Why do people tell lies?
3 min read

Why do people tell lies?

Why do we lie even when society tells us that we shouldn’t?

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Somatic symptom disorder explained.
4 min read

Somatic symptom disorder explained.

Somatic symptom disorder is diagnosed when a person hyper-focuses on certain physical symptoms.

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Are there too many mental health disorders?
3 min read

Are there too many mental health disorders?

Over all though, mental health labels do serve a purpose when they are not attached to people’s personalities and so remain abstract.

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Living with OCD.
3 min read

Living with OCD.

Researchers don’t know the exact cause of OCD however...

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Dissociative disorders explained.
3 min read

Dissociative disorders explained.

All of these factors and symptoms combined makes a person much more susceptible to stress.

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What is the difference between stress and anxiety?
4 min read

What is the difference between stress and anxiety?

Finding ways to manage both stress and anxiety is extremely important.

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Articles


Codependency explained.
4 min read

Codependency explained.

Both subsets of codependents willingly become hosts for their parasites.

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Why is it so important for trauma professionals to validate their clients personal responses to trauma?
3 min read

Why is it so important for trauma professionals to validate their clients personal responses to trauma?

When a person is exposed to a traumatic event, only they can ever truly know and understand what they went through.

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What makes people vulnerable to manipulation?
5 min read

What makes people vulnerable to manipulation?

We are never truly immune to manipulation no matter how skilled we think we are in noticing it.

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How can the ABCDE coaching model help you to manage your stress and anxiety?
5 min read

How can the ABCDE coaching model help you to manage your stress and anxiety?

The ABC model is a basic CBT technique which assumes that your beliefs about stress directly affect or influence how you subsequently respond to stress.

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Is professional mental health treatment too expensive?
4 min read

Is professional mental health treatment too expensive?

Mental health care is just as important as physical health care.

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Can ego development theory better explain narcissism?
4 min read

Can ego development theory better explain narcissism?

Rather than the traits and behaviours being born out of ‘intention’, ‘malevolence’ or ‘evilness’, ego development theory...

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ADHD in women.
3 min read

ADHD in women.

Young girls who are not recognised and diagnosed as having ADHD often grow up confused as to why they are struggling with certain things compared to their female peers.

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A look at adult ADHD and its comorbidities.
3 min read

A look at adult ADHD and its comorbidities.

Researchers are unsure why ADHD is comorbid with many other mental health conditions but they believe that genetics may play a role.

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Post-traumatic stress disorder explained.
3 min read

Post-traumatic stress disorder explained.

Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury or sexual violence which must be experienced directly, as a witness, indirectly or vicariously.

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9 tips to help you improve your mental health.
3 min read

9 tips to help you improve your mental health.

Goal setting is a great way to keep ourselves on track and ensure that we stay committed to achieving our successes.

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How do toxic people use covert abuse and stalking to make their victims appear paranoid?
2 min read

How do toxic people use covert abuse and stalking to make their victims appear paranoid?

The more outlandish the abuser can make their abuse tactics, the less likely their victim will be believed.

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Articles


Unconditional love and personal boundaries.
2 min read

Unconditional love and personal boundaries.

If you do end any relationship permanently, you do not have to stop loving the other person unconditionally.

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Do you suffer from social media perfectionism?
3 min read

Do you suffer from social media perfectionism?

Shouldn’t the ‘imperfect’ images and videos be the majority and the ‘perfect’ images and videos the minority?

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Living with Bipolar Disorder.
4 min read

Living with Bipolar Disorder.

Being diagnosed with any mental health condition is not the same as receiving a terminal diagnosis within the medical profession.

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Is it possible to reverse the negative consequences of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)?
3 min read

Is it possible to reverse the negative consequences of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)?

Children and adolescents really are quite resilient and with appropriate help and support they can recover and heal.

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What are the long-term effects of being raised in a dysfunctional family?
3 min read

What are the long-term effects of being raised in a dysfunctional family?

The higher a participant’s ACE score was, the higher the chances were that they engaged in high-risk behaviours.

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Overcoming self-pity.
3 min read

Overcoming self-pity.

Self-pity is an unbridled obsession with wallowing in the displeasure of oneself and one’s misfortunes.

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What happens when we internalize mean comments from other people?
3 min read

What happens when we internalize mean comments from other people?

Ultimately, holding onto negative introjections will always do you more harm than good so they should be rejected outright.

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A look at some ways to manage anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions.
3 min read

A look at some ways to manage anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions.

We are all susceptible to anxiety, depression and other mental conditions at some point in our lives.

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Approach coping Part 1: How to reduce the frequency of stressful events being created.
4 min read

Approach coping Part 1: How to reduce the frequency of stressful events being created.

You cannot escape stressors because anything which occurs in life has the potential to be perceived, by us humans, as stressful.

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Approach coping part 2: Learning how to respond to stressful events.
5 min read

Approach coping part 2: Learning how to respond to stressful events.

So, you have imbued an arbitrary stressor with negative significance and you are now suffering from stress?

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A look at avoidance coping.
3 min read

A look at avoidance coping.

Research has consistently shown that when it comes to stress, the use of avoidance coping is ineffective.

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A look at some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy strategies you can use to improve your mental health.
2 min read

A look at some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy strategies you can use to improve your mental health.

CBT is one of the most effective mental health approaches available but like anything, it is not the be all to end all.

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Articles


The Golem effect and its potential impact on narcissism and other mental health conditions.
3 min read

The Golem effect and its potential impact on narcissism and other mental health conditions.

The Golem effect occurs when superiors, supervisors or authority figures anticipate low performance from those ‘below’ them.

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Unlearning anxiety.
3 min read

Unlearning anxiety.

Cognitive distortions are deemed ‘unhelpful’ because they are exactly that…UNHELPFUL.

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Defeat and entrapment theory, mental health and abusive relationships.
5 min read

Defeat and entrapment theory, mental health and abusive relationships.

If anyone is experiencing domestic or intimate partner violence, please do not hesitate to seek professional help.

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How well do you know your intimate partner?
3 min read

How well do you know your intimate partner?

A lot of intimate partner conflict arises simply because the couple don’t know or understand enough about each other.

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Building self-compassion.
3 min read

Building self-compassion.

Self-compassion is the antidote to self-criticism and self-hatred.

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A look at the stages of grief model.
3 min read

A look at the stages of grief model.

Loss is an inevitable part of life and we all respond to loss differently depending on our beliefs, values, social expectations, religions, cultures, etc.

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A look at 8 strategies you can use to help you to reduce negative thoughts and negative emotions.
3 min read

A look at 8 strategies you can use to help you to reduce negative thoughts and negative emotions.

The aim therefore is to achieve equality between thoughts and emotions because once they are equal, they are no longer seen as special and they return back to their arbitrary state.

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Understanding the true and false self.
3 min read

Understanding the true and false self.

The true self is often referred to by many terms such as ‘authentic self’, ‘original self’ or vulnerable self’. Likewise, the false self is referred to by terms such as ‘fake self’, ‘idealized self’ or ‘superficial self’.

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A look at 5 different therapeutic approaches and how each different approach can be used to treat negative thoughts and anxiety.
5 min read
Will all trauma lead to a diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?
3 min read

Will all trauma lead to a diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Trauma exists independently of ptsd and can be classified prior to, and separate from, the diagnostic criteria stipulated by the DSM-5.

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Understanding anxiety.
3 min read

Understanding anxiety.

The second lesson is… the choices, thoughts, feelings, etc that we make in the NOW can and will supersede whatever has occurred in the past.

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How does parentification lead to reverse abandonment anxiety?
3 min read

How does parentification lead to reverse abandonment anxiety?

Rather than experiencing anxiety that they themselves will be abandoned by their parent (or others), they experience anxiety about THEM abandoning their parent (or others).

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Articles


Why isn’t healthy narcissism discussed more on social media?
4 min read

Why isn’t healthy narcissism discussed more on social media?

The framework of ego development allows us to see full blown NPD as a form of arrested development.

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Do serial killers collect trophies from their victims so that they can intentionally trigger their own ptsd-like flashbacks?
4 min read

Do serial killers collect trophies from their victims so that they can intentionally trigger their own ptsd-like flashbacks?

Serial killers however, lack genuine emotions. Serial killers often say that during the time of the killing, they felt no emotions only an intense adrenaline rush.

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A look at how to choose the right mental health professional.
3 min read

A look at how to choose the right mental health professional.

The ‘alliance’ refers to the reciprocal nature of therapy. That is, the client and the therapist must work together as a team if they wish to achieve the clients desired outcomes.

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What is the relationship between assertiveness and emotional intelligence?
3 min read

What is the relationship between assertiveness and emotional intelligence?

The ability to be assertive is a fundamental communication skill which can help you to express yourself more efficiently.

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What is toxic positivity?
3 min read

What is toxic positivity?

There is nothing wrong with feeling sad. It helps us to cry and helps us to release our emotions.

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Why is conflict scary and why do so many people try and avoid it?
3 min read

Why is conflict scary and why do so many people try and avoid it?

Conflict in and of itself is the mere expression of disagreement. A discord between needs, values, wants, beliefs, etc.

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A look at how self-serving bias and locus of control positively and negatively influences mental health.
3 min read

A look at how self-serving bias and locus of control positively and negatively influences mental health.

Self-serving bias is related to locus of control. As the name suggests, locus of control refers to perceptions of control.

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Why is object constancy important to mental health recovery?
4 min read

Why is object constancy important to mental health recovery?

Successful trauma recovery/healing requires people to develop object constancy so that they can have healthy whole object relations with others.

Read More  
How can we protect children from sexual abuse and sexual exploitation?
2 min read

How can we protect children from sexual abuse and sexual exploitation?

WARNING; This article contains information pertaining to sexual abuse and sexual exploitation which some readers may find disturbing or offensive. If you feel that your emotional health is compromised in any way after reading the contents of this post, please seek immediate advice from a mental health professional.

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What causes you to stress out when others around you are so calm?
4 min read

What causes you to stress out when others around you are so calm?

NUTS refers to 1. Novelty, 2. Unpredictability, 3. Threat to the ego and 4. Sense of control.

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Why do we sabotage ourselves even when we know it is not good for us?
3 min read

Why do we sabotage ourselves even when we know it is not good for us?

If you are aware that you have a tendency to self-sabotage, it would be a good idea for you to develop a self-sabotage plan.

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What is emotional responsibility?
4 min read

What is emotional responsibility?

It can be hard for people to accept and acknowledge emotional responsibility. People are usually raised to believe that it is what has happened to them which ultimately determines how they feel.

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Articles


What is the purpose of psychology?
3 min read

What is the purpose of psychology?

Psychology is the scientific study of the mind, emotions and behaviour. Psychology aims to describe, explain, predict and change human behaviour, etc. Psychology is not a precise science.

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Psychiatry vs the antipsychiatry movement.
3 min read

Psychiatry vs the antipsychiatry movement.

It is important to recognise that the antipsychiatry movement is not totally opposed to psychiatry. The movement does not seek to abolish psychiatry as a whole.

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How did the Kinsey reports of the 1950’s legitimize predatory sex behaviours?
3 min read

How did the Kinsey reports of the 1950’s legitimize predatory sex behaviours?

WARNING: The content of this post refers specifically to child abuse and sexual predation of minors and contains reported instances of child abuse which some people may find graphic and disturbing.

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Neurodiversity and neurodevelopmental disorders.
3 min read

Neurodiversity and neurodevelopmental disorders.

Neurodiversity is more than just a ‘fad’ or populist movement created simply to appease the egos of parents who gave birth to ‘challenging’ children. The concept of neurodiversity has solid groundings in science.

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Goal setting, behaviour change and the GROW model.
2 min read

Goal setting, behaviour change and the GROW model.

Goal setting is an excellent way of removing anxiety and uncertainty. Goal setting helps us to manage stress, and remain calm, resilient and happy, especially when we are under pressure.

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A look at the toxic effects of social media and social comparisons.
3 min read

A look at the toxic effects of social media and social comparisons.

Social media has forced modern generations to forcibly ask themselves questions centred around “who am I”? “What makes me special”? “What is my status amongst these 5 billion other people I am exposed to”?

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A look at how intimate partner violence can lead to intimate partner homicide.
3 min read

A look at how intimate partner violence can lead to intimate partner homicide.

Of all the research that does exist, in both straight relationships and same sex relationships, the findings have suggested that the strongest or most common risk factor for intimate partner homicide is previous and/or ongoing domestic abuse.

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A look at trauma and it's impact on the authentic self.
2 min read

A look at trauma and it's impact on the authentic self.

This is how our authentic self should be treated. Regardless of how many times it ‘fails’ us, we must continually provide it with unconditional love and support.

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How does abuse, trauma and adversity negatively affect our mental health?
2 min read

How does abuse, trauma and adversity negatively affect our mental health?

These three examples highlight the relationship between interpretations of traumatic events and the associated emotional/cognitive responses.

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Are you angry and resentful towards your parents because of how they raised you as a child?
3 min read

Are you angry and resentful towards your parents because of how they raised you as a child?

So yes, resentment can be problematic but it can also be advantageous. It can teach us quite a lot of useful things.

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Do you transform into the Hulk when consumed by negative emotions?
3 min read

Do you transform into the Hulk when consumed by negative emotions?

This is where re-parenting comes in. You have to take control and become the parent to yourself if you wish to improve your distress tolerance and reduce your hypersensitivity to emotions.

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Covid-19 and mental health.
2 min read

Covid-19 and mental health.

The COVID-19 pandemic is unique in a very important way. It forces seclusion and isolation on a scale unheard of before.

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Articles


Looking at abusive relationships through the lens of Erikson's 8 stages of psychosocial development.
3 min read

Looking at abusive relationships through the lens of Erikson's 8 stages of psychosocial development.

I am also going to intentionally ‘misuse’ the 8 stages as they were originally intended and instead highlight how each of the 8 stages can help to explain how a person can be ‘changed’ or ‘altered’ by an abusive relationship.

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A look at some common relationship problems.
3 min read

A look at some common relationship problems.

Many people grow up with the idea that relationships need to be perfect or that they must always be happy.

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What are ego states?
2 min read

What are ego states?

Ego states or self-states are the different personalities that we display within different social contexts.

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A look at Ryff’s six-factor model of psychological well-being.
2 min read

A look at Ryff’s six-factor model of psychological well-being.

Ryff’s model of psychological well-being has distinguished six core factors which contribute towards well-being; autonomy, environmental mastery, personal growth, positive relations with others, purpose in life, and self-acceptance.

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Should all psychologists have prescriptive authority?
5 min read

Should all psychologists have prescriptive authority?

There is an upside to granting psychologists prescription privileges (some US states already have). Generally speaking, a psychologist spends much more time interacting with a client than a psychiatrist or doctor can or does.

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The id, ego and superego explained.
3 min read

The id, ego and superego explained.

The id is present from the moment we are born and it runs on pure instinct, desire, and need. The id is entirely unconscious and it is the most primitive part of the personality, including basic biological drives and reflexes.

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What is the replication crisis within psychology?
4 min read

What is the replication crisis within psychology?

This inability to replicate previous findings has become known as the replication crisis and it is starting to jeopardise the integrity of psychology as a ‘scientific’ discipline.

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A look at two ways of managing stress.
4 min read

A look at two ways of managing stress.

Stressors can be events, places, things or people and all stressors have the POTENTIAL to cause stress if they are PERCEIVED as stressful.

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A brief look at Schema Therapy.
3 min read

A brief look at Schema Therapy.

There are four main concepts within schema therapy; Early maladaptive schemas, core emotional needs (schema domains), modes (4 modes), and maladaptive coping styles.

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Anxiety disorders and false safety behaviours.
3 min read

Anxiety disorders and false safety behaviours.

Safety behaviours which are activated in response to anxiety and anxiety disorders are false safety behaviours (FSB). They are considered false because they are unnecessary.

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Social exchange theory and interpersonal relationships.
3 min read

Social exchange theory and interpersonal relationships.

The core basis of social exchange theory is the familiar saying “you scratch my back and I will scratch your back”.

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What causes eating disorders?
3 min read

What causes eating disorders?

At one point eating disorders (ED) were predominately a “Western” problem however the disorder has expanded across the globe affecting people of all ages, races, genders and ethnicities.

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Articles


What are the mental health benefits of exercise?
3 min read

What are the mental health benefits of exercise?

Global depression and anxiety have been on the up and up for a long time. We live in a hyper competitive, hyper comparative world and people are more stressed than ever.

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What are the mental health advantages and disadvantages of divergent thinking?
2 min read

What are the mental health advantages and disadvantages of divergent thinking?

Divergent thinking involves exploring multiple possible solutions from multiple perspectives in order to generate multiple solutions/answers.

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Are you very critical of yourself and do you have a habit of putting yourself down?
3 min read

Are you very critical of yourself and do you have a habit of putting yourself down?

These are the mean, insensitive, cruel and derogatory comments, phrases, words or statements that we have internalized from the outside world.

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A look at the Healthy Immigrant Paradox.
4 min read

A look at the Healthy Immigrant Paradox.

Why are these recently arrived immigrants seemingly more resilient and therefore have better mental health than those who have migrated before them and those who were born and raised in the country?

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A look at the 7 dimensions of wellness.
3 min read

A look at the 7 dimensions of wellness.

Wellness is the overall experience of health, happiness and prosperity. Wellness involves proactively practicing and maintaining healthy life habits on a daily basis.

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What are Cluster A personality disorders?
3 min read

What are Cluster A personality disorders?

Cluster A personality disorders refers to a specific group of mental health conditions which are characterised by ‘odd’ or ‘eccentric’ thoughts, feelings or behaviours which often leads to social; awkwardness and social withdrawal.

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What is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy?
3 min read

What is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy?

DBT teaches clients that their thoughts are ‘normal’ given their condition, and should therefore be ‘accepted’, however they must engage in change if they wish to improve their standard of living and overcome their challenges, stresses and distresses.

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How can you have a healthy relationship?
3 min read

How can you have a healthy relationship?

The third virtual space allows a healthy couple to remain independent whilst also being interdependent. The healthy couple can maintain their individual pursuits/interests and personal identity whilst simultaneously sharing pursuits/interests and having a separate and distinct ‘us’ identity.

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A look at the psychology behind compulsive hoarding.
3 min read

A look at the psychology behind compulsive hoarding.

Some research has suggested that compulsive hoarding may be the result of deficits in executive functioning. Executive functioning is related to flexible thinking, planning, self-monitoring, self-control, working memory, time management, and organization.

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When does anger become a problem?
3 min read

When does anger become a problem?

Anger is a typical human emotion and it can be viewed in one of two ways. State vs trait anger.

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Self-compassion vs self-esteem: Which is healthier?
4 min read

Self-compassion vs self-esteem: Which is healthier?

Self-compassion has all of the mental health benefits of self-esteem without any of the down sides (extreme highs or lows - pathologies).

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Borderline Personality Disorder explained.
4 min read

Borderline Personality Disorder explained.

BPD is characterized by intense and prolific fluctuations in mood states (emotional lability), anger, insecurity (stemming from poor self-image coupled with severe abandonment anxiety), impulsiveness and self-harm/suicide.

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Articles


What are the positive aspects of conflict?
2 min read

What are the positive aspects of conflict?

Conflict can help to release pent-up frustration: Unaddressed conflict builds up over time and the pressure builds up until the conflict is finally addressed and expressed.

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What are some practical ways to manage social anxiety?
3 min read

What are some practical ways to manage social anxiety?

The goal is not to completely eliminate social anxiety: The goal is to return atypical social anxiety back to its typical form.

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A look at how our uncontrolled negative thoughts act just like pests and parasites.
1 min read

A look at how our uncontrolled negative thoughts act just like pests and parasites.

Uncontrolled negative thoughts are parasitic. They are like leeches. They consume and consume and consume but they leave us with nothing but misery and emptiness.

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Why is self-esteem so important to mental health?
3 min read

Why is self-esteem so important to mental health?

When our self-esteem becomes balanced and healthy across time and across situations, so too will our mental health become balanced and healthy across time and across situations.

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Can decoded neurofeedback treat PTSD?
2 min read

Can decoded neurofeedback treat PTSD?

The concept of decoded neurofeedback relies upon associating a particular neural pathway pattern with a particular memory.

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How can I identify the obstacles that are preventing me from achieving my goals?
3 min read

How can I identify the obstacles that are preventing me from achieving my goals?

Goal setting is a great way of keeping us on track and ensuring that we stay committed to achieving our success.

Read More  
Gratitude and well-being.
3 min read

Gratitude and well-being.

Researchers have shown that state gratitude is positively correlated with life satisfaction, positive affect and happiness and negatively correlated with depression, negative affect and physical aggression.

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How can I become mentally stronger and more resilient in life?
3 min read

How can I become mentally stronger and more resilient in life?

We all have challenges in life that we must learn to overcome if we wish to grow, learn and develop. For some people these challenges are much harder to overcome.

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Are we responsible for other people’s emotions?
2 min read

Are we responsible for other people’s emotions?

we are responsible for our actions, and We are responsible for recognising and taking responsibility for how our actions can potentially INFLUENCE the emotional states of others. This is the basis of empathy.

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How does perceptions of loneliness affect our mental health?
3 min read

How does perceptions of loneliness affect our mental health?

Loneliness is a distressing feeling that accompanies the perception that one’s social needs are not being met by the quantity or the quality of one’s social relationships.

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What is invalidation and how does it affect my mental health?
3 min read

What is invalidation and how does it affect my mental health?

Invalidation occurs when someone, either intentionally or unintentionally, dismisses, rejects or minimizes our thoughts and feelings. Invalidation implies that our subjective experience is somehow wrong, unimportant or unacceptable.

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The ABC’s of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.
2 min read

The ABC’s of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

We generally believe that negative events/stressors cause us to act or feel in certain ways. The reality is, negative events and stressors are neutral, arbitrary events which we as humans give meaning to.

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Articles


Children and trauma.

Children and adolescents that have been exposed to trauma, either directly or indirectly, experience, process, display and suffer from trauma much differently than adults.

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What is clinical depression?

Clinical depression (also known as major depression, major depressive disorder or unipolar depression) is a serious mental illness that negatively affects how a person thinks.

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Are psychopaths bad because they’re sad?

Dr Willem Martens, the director of the W. Khan Institute of Theoretical Psychiatry and Neuroscience, suggests that contrary to popular belief, the psychopath experiences emotional pain the same as ‘normal’ people do.

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Viewing Donald Trump’s refusal to concede the 2020 election through the lens of Social Rank Theory.

Donald Trump may very well see his ritualistic agnostic behaviour (RAB) as being higher than that of Joe Biden which is contributing to Trump’s refusal to concede the 2020 election. Trump may believe that Biden is weak and incapable of holding the office of president of the United States.

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The case of serial rapist and serial killer Brian Dugan. Part 2.

Dugan’s defence team used Dugan’s FMRI scan to demonstrate that the convicted murderer had deficits in brain functioning. The defence argued that these significant deficits in brain functioning contributed to Dugan’s violent and depraved behaviour.

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The case of serial rapist and serial killer Brian Dugan: Part 1.

Brian Dugan was born in 1956 in Nashua, New Hampshire and is a convicted serial rapist and serial killer. Dugan once made a claim that when he was a teenager, he was abducted and raped by serial killer John Wayne Gacy.

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Reforming trauma coaching explores parentification and trauma bonding.

Parentification occurs when children assume the care giving roles of the parents. The child is compelled to give up their own needs, wants, desires and childhood to look after siblings and/or their parents.

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Reality testing and Schizophrenia.

Reality testing can be learnt and achieved which leads to a better standard of living.

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THE CASE OF THE 12-YEAR-OLD SCHOOL GIRL TIAHLEIGH PALMER WHO WAS MOLESTED BY HER FOSTER BROTHER AND MURDERED BY HER FOSTER FATHER- PART 2.

Sibling incest most commonly occurs in larger families where there is an abundance of emotional and physical abuse, marital conflicts, blurred or non-existent intrafamilial boundaries and significant parentification.

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The case of the 12-year-old school girl Tiahleigh Palmer who was molested by her foster brother and murdered by her foster father- Part 1.

Rick had in fact murdered his foster daughter Tiahleigh to prevent anybody from discovering that his 18-year-old son Trent had been molesting the young school girl. Trent had disclosed to a relative that he had raped the young girl and was concerned that she may be pregnant.

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Is the current social media fascination with narcissism and psychopathy following the path of the eugenics movements of the 30’s and 40’s?

Within the last 10 years, social media has pounced all over narcissism and psychopathy. Once conditions relatively unheard of outside of academia, social media interest in narcissism and psychopathy has exploded exponentially.

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What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EI) is defined as the capacity of individuals to recognise and differentiate between the emotions and feelings of themselves and others.

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Articles


Reforming Trauma Coaching explores trauma recovery and the theory of Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG).

During the mid-90’s, psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun suggested that individuals who had endured significant trauma, either singularly or repeatedly, would experience positive growth afterwards.

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Reforming Trauma Coaching's 5 tips for effective goal setting.

When people have experienced trauma, depression or are just in a slump and motivation is hard to come by, the biggest mistake they make when trying to set goals is not recognising their current state.

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Would you like to be more assertive?

The ability to be assertive is a fundamental communication skill which can help you to express yourself more efficiently.

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Is there a link between childhood Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) and childhood Conduct Disorder (CD)?

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5) characterises Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) as a childhood behavioural problem consisting primarily of disobedience and hostility in pre-teen children.

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Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD): What is it and how can it be treated?

Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) is a condition whereby an infant or young child was not provided the opportunity to form healthy and secure attachments with their primary care givers (i.e., mothers, fathers, grandparents, pre-school teachers, etc).

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The four stages of PTSD

This stage occurs immediately following exposure to a traumatic event. The aftermath of a traumatic event leaves an individual confused and struggling to come to grips with what has occurred.

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Reforming Trauma Coaching explores factors which can exacerbate or mitigate the negative effects of trauma exposure.

Trauma, whether it be emotional, psychological or physical, damages the psyche and can, if left untreated, disrupt daily functioning and coping. The degree to which one experiences the negative effects of trauma can be exacerbated by risk factors or mitigated by protective factors.

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Is narcissism the consequence of the ego dystonic interpretation of the fight, flight, fawn and freeze (FFFF) responses?

It is possible that the cognitive dissonance between the instinctual flee or freeze response and societies perception of what behaviours constitute strong and weak behaviours leads to the creation of insecurity and the subsequent creation of narcissistic defences.

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How to use the principles of gambling to improve intimate relationships.

How do they do this? TEAMWORK. Ideally, both parties come into the relationship with the mindset of “This person is taking a risk on me. The odds are against them somewhat because they don’t really know me all that well. What actions can I perform to help increase these odds in their favour and thus make this risk/gamble more appealing to him/her?”

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Psychological hardiness, stress and trauma: A look at how these three constructs are intimately related.

The ‘3C’s’ of psychological hardiness (commitment, control, challenge) supplies an individual with the courage and the willingness to dedicate oneself to transforming stressful events and situations from unwanted and feared catastrophes into needed and desired opportunities for learning, development and growth (Maddi, 2004).

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Exploring trauma bonding and dysfunctional family relationships: Is it love or fear that keeps you going back for more?

Trauma bonding is the bond which is created as the consequence of intense and prolific emotional experiences with a toxic person. The manipulator in a relationship uses mental, physical or emotional abuse to create a trauma bond which, ultimately, serves to keep the other party from escaping the relationship.

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Reforming Trauma Coaching: The narcissist and the butterfly.

What does a narcissist and a butterfly have in common?

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Articles


The truth about PTSD and trauma: Why the two constructs are not one in the same.

Post-traumatic stress is a relatively new psychological phenomena which was classified in the early 1970s largely in response to psychologists recognizing that a proportion of Vietnam War veterans...

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Introducing defeat and entrapment theory into the domestic violence literature: Implications for learned helplessness theory as an explanation for why individuals remain in abusive relationships and experience depression.

Within defeat and entrapment theory, depression is thought to be unconsciously manifested as a submissive behaviour which is displayed in order to minimise conflict and restore social rank imbalances.

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Reforming Trauma Coaching's 5 tips to help you to become mentally stronger and more resilient in life.

Life is challenging even at the best of times. Life will always have its ups and downs and the struggle will always be real. The ability to become mentally stronger and resilient however will help you to overcome any adversity that life throws at you. With resiliency and a strong mind, what was once a massive mountain of a problem that would send you into a spiral of depression, anxiety, helplessness and self-doubt becomes but a mere bump in the road and an exciting opportunity to learn and grow. So here are my 5 tips on how to develop a stronger mind and become more resilient.

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Can you tell the difference between genuine romantic interest and love bombing?

Most of us have experienced the whirlwind of passion, romance and excitement that comes with meeting a new romantic interest.

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In a world full of popularised catch phrases and self-diagnosis, what does it mean to ‘be’ OCD?

The phrase “oh, I’m so OCD” or “It’s normal, I’m just a little OCD” has become an increasingly common catch phrase to explain away perfectionistic tendencies.

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Psychopaths Vs Sociopaths...Is there a difference?

Whilst the two terms are used interchangeably, there are significant differences between a psychopath and a sociopath. To begin, one of the easiest ways to differentiate between the two is to remember that the P in psychopath stands for primary or pure and the S in sociopath stands for secondary or social. This means that a psychopath is of primary origin. From birth. Pure. The sociopath however, as the name implies, is socially engineered. They are secondary. Below psychopaths in the hierarchy and constructed via social means (i.e., influenced by another/others).

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How can trauma be a uniquely experienced and deeply personal event whilst simultaneously being a relatively common response to being exposed to a traumatic event?

Within psychology, the concept of qualia refers to subjective or personal conscious experiences. The most common manner in which the concept of qualia is described is with the question ‘Is the colour red that you see the same colour red that I see?’ Basically, what this means is how can two people, who have different biological, neurological, genetic and epistemological makeups, be certain that they are seeing the colour red in exactly the same way? Philosophically speaking, it is not possible to know this. So how can we relate the concept of qualia to people who have experienced trauma and the trauma professionals who claim they can help them?

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How does repeated exposure to trauma lead to learned helplessness?

Learned helplessness is the belief that we are incapable of changing the course of negative events therefore failure is inevitable. The condition stems from a lack of perceived control. Once learned helplessness has been relied upon for a long time, it can be rather difficult to reverse the effects.

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Seriously... Your'e going out looking like that?

After so many years this statement from your parents can still play in your mind whenever you stand in front of the mirror examining your clothes before you go out. This constant chatter in your head that judges you and tells you that your clothes look silly. It’s the same as when you go to the beach or the gym and you suddenly become self-conscious and recall all the times someone has called you fat. Or ugly. Or any other mean comment that hurt your feelings and you still hold onto after all this time.

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Reforming Trauma Coaching's 5 simple steps for quick and easy meditation

1. Choose either a guided meditation or some calming music of your choice. YouTube is a great source for both options. The key to using guided meditation is listening. Really listening. Listening, trusting and following the instructions of your chosen guided meditation will help you to attain a meditative state faster. Once you practice meditation for a while, any kind of your favorite music can be used. Just keep the key ideas about meditating in mind and you will relax in no time. 2. If you want to use incense sticks or fragrant oils, choose very subtle fragrances...

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Articles


A look at how narcissistic injury and narcissistic rage fuels mass shootings.

The cowardly, violent and unjustified acts of mass shooters is implicitly related to malignant narcissism. The perpetrators of such violence feel compelled to act out their brand of justice and revenge in order to satisfy their sadistic desires on those who have, in reality or fantasy, wronged or humiliated them in some way. The perceived wrongs and humiliations challenge their fragile ego, superiority and grandiosity thus inflicting upon them the severest of narcissistic injuries. The mass shooter can no longer contain their repressed anger and humiliation and are forced to unleash the full wrath of their narcissistic rage.

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Reforming Trauma Coaching explores domestic violence, PTSD and effective treatment approaches

Domestic violence (DV) is defined as violence, sexual, emotional, physical and verbal abuse/ aggression and/or any other forms of degradation of one individual against another which, necessarily, occurs within the sanctity of an intimate relationship (Showden, 2011). Males and females can be either the abused or the abuser (Wendt & Zannettino, 2014). Ultimately, perpetrators of domestic violence seek to control and isolate their intimate partners by effectively rendering the partner compliant, dependent and isolated from friends, family and other external resources (Rees & Pease, 2007).

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Can Cognitive Behaviour Therapy be used to treat the positive symptoms of psychosis?

Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) is a psycho-social intervention which proposes that there is an interconnected and interdependent relationship between a person’s thoughts, feelings/emotions and behaviours (Lowenthal & House, 2010). According to CBT, modifications occurring in one domain (i.e., thoughts) can lead to modifications occurring in the other two domains (Rhodes, 2013). Therefore, unhelpful and unproductive behaviours, thoughts and feelings can be consciously altered, via a range of CBT based techniques, into more helpful, positive and productive ones (Rhodes, 2013).

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An examination of PTSD and flashbacks.

We have all seen and heard about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in some form or another. Whether it’s through the depictions of war heroes in Hollywood movies or personal experiences with family members or friends who have served in the military. You may have even seen PTSD manifested by a close friend or relative that survived a car crash, experienced a natural disaster like a flood or earthquake, was in an abusive and violent relationship, or witnessed a mugging occur on the streets of their neighbourhood.

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Reforming Trauma Coaching's 5 tips to help you to recover from depression.

Depression is something that we all experience at some point in our lives. Sometimes it is mild and we recovery fairly quickly and other times its more severe and persistent. Depression takes away the joy and happiness we once felt towards life and other. We become unmotivated, lethargic, withdrawn, negative and incapable of reigniting that spark of passion and wonderment that exists deep inside of us. So here are six natural and holistic tips to help you on the road to recovery. 1. Take things slowly...

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Is there similarities between what is happening now with the Michael Jackson allegations and that which occurred with notorious pedophile Jimmy Saville after his death in 2011?

Note: I am not making any accusations or conclusions about Michael Jackson's innocence or guilt, I am merely identifying similarities between two celebrity cases. I'm pretty sure that everyone knows who Michael Jackson is so I won't go into his history too much. As for Jimmy Saville, he was a former DJ and...

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Reforming Trauma Coaching examines cognitive distortions

Cognitive distortions are disproportionate and irrational thought/belief patterns or schemas. They can develop in response to trauma, repeated abuse, faulty introjections from others and as mental shortcuts. These inaccurate thought patterns/beliefs reinforce and exacerbate negative thinking and/or negative emotions...

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How does setting goals lead you to greater success and confidence in life?

All successful people know that the key to becoming successful is effective goal setting. These people have learnt that if they wish to accomplish their goals, they must make sure that they set SMART goals. S - Specific and clear M - Measurable and meaningful A - Achievable and attainable R - realistic and rewarding T - Time-based. So how did the creators of Homescapes incorporate the SMART model of goal setting into their game and how can you learn from it?

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Analysis paralysis and the link to abusive and violent relationships/environments.

Whilst everyone is familiar with procrastination, how many of you are familiar with analysis paralysis? Basically, analysis paralysis is the act of over-thinking about a decision so compulsively that ultimately a choice never gets made. Hence the notion of paralysis. The overthinking individual gets so stuck in the exploring and figuring out all the options stage that they cannot mentally progress onto the actual selection of a decision.

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How the creation of increasingly frivolous psychiatric disorders are turning people and society into bamboo eating Pandas.

The American Psychiatric Associations (APA) decision to hastily introduce the diagnostic and statistical manual 5th edition (DSM-5) in 2013 was met with harsh criticism from psychiatrists, psychologists and other mental health professionals around the world. The professionals were concerned with how little outside input and influence the APA allowed prior to publication of the DSM-5 and the inclusion of more psychiatric disorders which were not clinically supported. For example, the DSM-5 introduced 14 new psychiatric disorders; 1. Binge Eating Disorder 2. Caffeine Withdrawal 3. Cannabis Withdrawal

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Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most narcissistic of them all?

Labelling anybody who displays even a small degree of self-confidence as narcissistic seems to be common practice these days. Narcissistic personality disorder is defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) as an over concern with self-love and an idealised self-image,

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